Life Goes On

In this life, people will love you and people will hate you and none of that will have anything to do with you.- abraham hicks

I am reminding myself today that it is not my life purpose to make everyone happy. This time in my life has been one of mixed emotions. I cycled through excitement, awe, frustration, loneliness, anger, compassion, understanding, courage, disdain, admiration, and passion like I was flipping the pages of an animation book. Each feeling harder to swallow than the previous one. Out of all of the situation prompted emotions I have experienced, the ones prompted by the awareness of being alone and the struggle of intellectual and business rivalry have resurfaced over and over again this year.

Most days I believe I am fighting everyone around me… Whether it is the person sitting at the desk across from me, the person who hired me, or the person I’m training to work underneath me. I am constantly on guard. I often have to immerse myself in settings with people who are skilled at playing mental mind games and giving off the appearance of friends. On a daily basis I swim with sharks who often pretend to be guppies.

I personally have never been good at this game. I value honesty and loyalty, but these are things you don’t often find in a setting like this. You must be smart. You must pay attention, and at the very least you must always be thinking of the best way to tread water without making waves.

I have been struggling lately with the idea that others around me so seamlessly make friends and become well-liked. They crack jokes; they give compliments; and they lavish with gifts and praise. I’ve worked with plenty of people who were more well liked than myself. In my heart and at the core of my personality I am not one to fake or fudge anything with ease. I am real in most things I experience and feel.

My personal struggle with the desire to be appreciated and well-liked with those around me has caused me to worry about everyone’s opinions and beliefs about me, my value, and my worth. I feel like I am losing pieces of myself in an attempt to make someone like me.

Today I am taking a minute to remind myself, “if your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you,  you risk sacrificing your uniqueness, and, therefore, your excellence.” I am fighting to be original and innovative, and that comes with a hefty price.

 

 

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