You’re Not Trying Hard Enough

There are times when I think people don’t understand just how hard it is to be single while you wait. I’ve had friends tell me that I just wasn’t trying hard enough. As if to imply that I enjoy the solitude and the frustration in constant misunderstandings that I know as relationships. If more people understood the deep sorrow of truly being alone, they would know the barren feeling that stems from having so much care and love to give to absolutely no one. They would know the feeling of desire that comes when you curl up into someone and feel the simple warmth of their breath on your cheek.They would understand what you mean when you say that the only thing you want is to hear is a thumping heartbeat when you lay your head down at night. Or they might know what it feels like to recall the way someone tastes and to constantly crave that tangible sensation. They would understand how hard you try, and they would comprehend how hard it is to find someone who fits so neatly within you. Everything and everyone else is just a messy filler until you find something real, and once you taste reality it’s hard to turn back.

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